Rain Rain Go Away

It's been a rainy Fall so far ... as school was starting up back in August, both Cooper and I looked at the weather forecast with trepidation.  Cooper, because his weather phobia has been kicking up again, and me, because it breaks my heart to see him so stressed and there is nothing I can do to help. He was struggling enough with the school switch (I pulled the kids from Columbia to Terra Linda, which is on a traditional schedule) and the challenges that come with that. Was it too much to ask that the weather would cooperate? 

I talked to Cooper's teacher about his weather worries, and it seems that the schools are fairly conservative ... if it's raining, it's an inside day.  Cooper's classroom is in the center of the school, with no windows ... I think that is a good thing. There haven't been any really bad storms while he's been in school, but it doesn't take much to concern Cooper. He doesn't like wind ... ANY wind at all.  Thunder and lightening are definite problems. He can handle rain if none of the aforementioned conditions exist, but he's still extremely on edge. 

It's nowhere near as bad as it was a couple years ago, when he started 2nd grade. Back then, I got calls from the school almost every day. Cooper would be so terrified he'd have to leave the classroom. At home, I'd have to keep all the blinds and windows closed, and even then he'd spend most of his time in his bedroom (as the kitchen just had too many transom windows, and the leaves could be seen moving in the wind or the change in light as a cloud covered the sun would be too obvious).  After counseling and medication, we seemed to normalize by the end of that school year, and I don't remember ANY issues for the entire 3rd grade. I'm sure there were some storms that year.

Cooper's Cave.

His bedroom is his "safe" spot.

It's been a bit frustrating to see the regression. To see him again checking the weather forecasts multiple times a day.  I've had to rehang a blanket over the window in his bedroom to try and block and sign of the weather outside. As I'm sitting here writing this, and the wind is whipping the trees and the sun slips behind the clouds ... I'm wondering if I'm going to get a call from the school. 

A couple weeks ago when we were at The Cheesecake Factory for Landon's birthday, Cooper was very upset. We were seated by a window, and a storm was blowing in. We had to hurry and finish our meal and head home. Luckily we were home when the storm hit hard. There was a flash of lightening and a roll of thunder unlike any I've ever experienced. It shook the house completely.  That storm made the news with flooding in Utah County, and the storms haven't really stopped.

Cooper said sadly the other day "I wish there was just ONE day that the whole day was a nice day at school".  I almost look forward to Winter, as the wind is so much less obvious without the leaves on the trees. As thunder and lightening so seldom accompany snow. Cooper doesn't have any issues with snow ...

Holy Hail

I was downstairs in our home gym, when I heard a rattling. There was something, make that several somethings hitting the window ... it was a hail storm.  I cut my workout short and came up to check on Cooper, who was cowering in my room crying. I comforted him and as quickly as it had started, the hail storm was over. I convinced Cooper to come out and check out the hail (the other kids were already out there). There were a lot of big pieces. That definitely would have hurt to get caught out in.  There was a lot of hail on the trampoline, and the kids gathered even more. Then they jumped on the tramp in their bare feet! Crazy kids ... it was a bit like hot potato, but it was cold hail!

Cooper's Counseling

I posted a while back about Cooper's weather worries. They started in the summer and really started causing problems when school started. One day after I had been called to the school, the principal suggested we check out the services offered by the district at the Jordan Family Education Center. 

We went in for an "intake" and were approved for some short term counseling. Every week, we'd go meet with Dr. D to try and get Cooper to come to terms with his feelings and learn coping techniques.

The weather continued to plague Cooper. Cloudy skies, rain ... there were times Cooper wouldn't even come out of his bedroom (too many windows in the kitchen). After reading and recommendations from the therapist, I ended up taking Cooper to the pediatrician and got him on some medication to help counter the flight or flight effects. It took some time, but between the counseling sessions and pills, Cooper does seem to be doing better. He no longer checks the weather forecast several times a day. He goes to school without as many issues (and really excels there!) Weather still comes up in conversation very often, but it's not the issue it was. It's a little hard to tell, because snow doesn't seem to bother Cooper the way rain and wind do. I dread Spring and the storms ahead, but I'm hoping for rainbows ...

Weather Worries

Back in June, I did a blog post about Cooper's fascination with tornadoes... I should have known ... the fascination turned to fear, and it's been pretty extreme. For almost the entire month of July, Cooper has been afraid of wind, rain, even clouds ... and unfortunately, there have been a lot of all three!

I remember there was rain and wind on the 4th of July, but it wasn't an issue for him that day or any of the days before (there had been a LOT of rain in the spring). By the following Saturday (July9th) however, it WAS an issue, and had been all week long. We had to keep all the windows and blinds closed so Cooper couldn't see the leaves stirring in the breeze or the dark clouds in the sky. But with the transom windows throughout the house, he could still catch glimpses, so soon he was almost completely confined to his bedroom or the basement (with no such windows, blinds drawn tight). Actual storms (of which there seems to have been MANY) would cause him to shriek in terror ... I think he actually was using his own voice to drown out the noise of the rain. Hysterical ... some times that is the word that describes him. There is no reasoning with him, no logic ... I've tried distracting him with some success (tv, gameboy in hand, headphones with music blaring).

Every morning Cooper checks the forecast for West Jordan... and Salt Lake, Layton, St. George, Moab ... oops, there was a weather app on the Ipod touch. Weather questions and comments make up the majority of the conversation every single day, it's rather exhausting! My little boy who used to spend his days playing basketball, soccer, jumprope and hula hoop doesn't dare venture outside the house (often not even out of his room). On sunny days he'll seem ok, but I see him making furtive glances at the windows and sky. If a cloud covers the sun, you can see an instant change in his countenance.

Cooper has always been a bit fearful (ok, there has been a LOT to deal with). In previous posts I've mentioned his fear of water (baths and swimming), which he has overcome (yea, he's a little fishy!) I did a post about his fear of Tom Bergeron ... the host of America's Funniest Home Videos, even I have to admit that is a strange one. Cooper has always preferred the comfort of home, safe with Mom, rarely going to friend's homes and always the first to say "let's go home" when we do go out. Church (nursery & the start of primary) was a huge ordeal. He cried all through kindergarten orientation, but happily he did fine once school started. Now with soccer starting up again, he's SO afraid he'll break his arm again (we are all a little worried about that) but he LOVED soccer so, I don't want him to give it up... of course, soccer also requires you to be outside ...

Monday, August 1 ... there was a bit of a change. I'm not sure what caused it, but I'll take it! Cooper came and told me he LIKED the rain ... and he even went outside and "danced" in the rain a bit (and there was plenty of rain all throughout the day Monday to keep on testing him). Cooper even asked me "Are you the only one in our family who doesn't like the rain?" ????? ME? The only problem I have had with the rain of late is that it was tormenting my little boy!

The change hasn't been continued or complete. Again with rain today (enough with the summer storms already!) Cooper has been concerned and in tears. He says he's ok with rain ... but he doesn't like the sound as it hits the windows. He's still worried about wind, terrified of tornadoes and leery of lightening. He asked about earthquakes (let's NOT go there) ...

... he does LOVE rainbows though ...

I hope there's a rainbow for us at the end of this storm.

Stick Shift

Our trip to Bear Lake made Grayson realize the brakes on the 'burb needed repair. As we would get close to stopping, there would be a slight roar, like an airplane flying low overhead. As we live close to Airport#2, I'm not sure if I had really noticed the sound, or just thought it WAS an airplane each time the noise was noticeable. Anyway ... Grayson said we needed to get the car in, but this causes some difficultly, because we are definitely NOT a one-car family. I don't have a lot of errands to run, but I did have a few (mostly running kids) that needed to be done. My parents have two cars but generally can easily get by with one, so I called and asked if we could borrow their little blue truck, as we had before (when it was Grayson's truck that needed the brake repair, just a few months earlier). Gray drove the little blue truck that time, but this time it made more sense for me to use the loaner ... except that it is a stick shift.

Now ... driving in general isn't something I like to do. This isn't something new. Unlike most 16 year olds, I was in NO hurry to get my licence. I've always been intimidated by the road. Add any complication ... traffic, construction, weather, unfamiliar surroundings, darkness ... and my stress level would skyrocket. And a stick shift ... yes, that's another one! I am happy to say I was able to overcome my fear and drive the little blue truck with it's stick shift for my errands. It was like riding a bike ... it came back to me pretty easily (but an automatic is absolutely the way to go!).

Recently, my SIL posted on her blog about her daughter's struggle with anxiety. I had talked with Courtney about some smaller issues we'd had with Cooper and Keaton in the recent past. But it wasn't until I read her blog, and continued on to some of the links and reading that I began to wonder about myself ... so much of the stuff really rang a bell with my issues.

While I've never really been comfortable behind the wheel of a car, I overcame much of my fear of driving for a time. I drove down to Snow College a few times, and commuted to BYU, although I have still never driven downtown Salt Lake. Now? I can't even IMAGINE being able to make those trips. As I've gotten older, had a hubby to rely on ... I've regressed. I'll drive right around home, on familiar streets, but it is still a struggle with any complications. My fear of freeways has won out completely ... I haven't driven on 1-15 in years now. And it's not even just being behind the wheel, but as a passenger as well. Our family trip to California was very hard on me (Grayson half-jokes he should just give me a double dose of Ambien to put me out during the drive) and when the family trip to Seattle came up ... I just couldn't do it, and I stayed home.

During the day to day, it's fairly easy to ignore the issue ... but then it rears it's ugly head. Callahan's basketball has been a bit of an problem, as it's forced me a bit out of my comfort zone (driving to Taylorsville and other new places in traffic/weather/darkness) ... driving to West High School was completely out of the question though, I had to find a ride with a team member. Getting Cooper downtown for his Jazz game (Uncle Clay took him) ... as I have to rely on others, put them out ... I feel worthless, it's easy for the depression to take over. It is a problem. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if there's anything I can really do about it ... I'm getting more than a bit concerned about the upcoming construction on Bangerter. I joke with Grayson that I'm a future shut-in ... but I'm not really joking ...

So ... I'm not really sure why I wrote up this post. Sometimes just writing things down, getting them out, can help a bit. It's just buried here, in the blog ... while I made it past the stick shift, I'm still stuck ...

America's Funniest (Scariest?) Videos

America's Funniest Videos ... it was a bit of a family tradition, we would gather on Sunday night to watch and laugh. That is, until Cooper developed a completely irrational but uncontrollable fear of the host, Tom Bergeron. Yes, that's right ... the face to the left would send my young son screaming from the room. If you are familiar with the show, you might remember when one of the showcases was taking regular funny videos, and superimposing Tom's enlarged head onto the subject. He'd make funny faces and it was supposed to cause laughter ... but for some reason it completely freaked Cooper out! We tried to capture his reaction on video, thinking THAT footage would very likely make it onto the show (I'll have to go through our old video files, I can't remember if we were successful). While it was funny, it was also quite sad. Ultimately, we gave up watching AFV, as if it was on, poor Cooper wouldn't dare enter the kitchen/family room area.

Last week, my mom forwarded an email saying a distant relative had a clip on the show. When Sunday rolled around, I went ahead and turned on the tv and for the first time in years, AFV was on. The older boys were laughing ... oh how I love to watch them laugh. Cooper came upstairs and we all watched for his reaction with bated breath. He gave a small start when he saw what show it was ... we encouraged him to give it a try, and he did!

Cooper watching AFV with his brothers ... it doesn't sound like much of a milestone, but actually, it is! We'll have to see if AFV returns as a family tradition ...